Dirty Minds
by xLessxThanx3x
Summary: Puck suddenly has the ability to read Kurt's mind. And it is FILTHY. And a 24/7 show about one Noah Puckerman. Puck/Kurt, basically pure porn


Puck knew if he told anyone they would think he was going crazy. Truth be told, he wasn't sure that he was completely sane, either. But for whatever reason, he was able to hear all of Kurt's thoughts.

It didn't take long to figure out. He happened to be walking by when Karofsky and Azimio were going to slushy him and Kurt's feminine voice rang in his head, _"Oh my God, freaking Neanderthals, this is _Prada_, you animals! Don't you _dare!_" _Then he was hit with a purple slushy in the face that stopped him, and his thoughts, dead in its tracks. After some silence Puck heard him think, _"Off to the girl's restroom. Don't cry, even if it's just from the corn syrup in your eyes. One day they'll all work for you and this moment will be one of the biggest regrets in their life."_ With that he adjusted his shoulder strap and walked off to get the artificial coloring off his skin, his chin jutted forward in a challenge to take him down.

He heard a few more snippets of his thoughts throughout the day when they passed in the halls—_"Oh my _Lord_, what is Rachel wearing?" "Why did I decide I needed to learn Spanish when I'm so near to being fluent in French?" "Kurt, just think about the weekend when you'll get to go to the mall with 'Cedes."_—but nothing scandalous. Puck thought it was weird, but, y'know, whatever.

When the time for Glee club finally came, things got a lot more interesting. It was common knowledge that Kurt no longer saw Finn as anything past a brother—which was pretty certain to happen—but Puck was privy to all of Kurt's thoughts on the matter. When Finn was working with Mike and Brittany on some dance moves for an upcoming number, Kurt rolled his eyes and thought, _"What did I ever find attractive in him? The boy has two left feet. And he really doesn't know much about anything. Yeah, he's sweet, but more like a brother. And he's cute, but all the Glee club guys are."_

Kurt's eyes roamed the choir room, looking at each boy in turn as he thought about them. _"Sam may have fake blond hair, but it seems so luscious to grab. And his lips are just _meant_ to suck dick."_ Puck nearly sputtered at the sudden dirty thoughts, but then smirked. He was going to get dirt on what Kurt liked. Major score.

_"And Mike…oh God, he's so flexible it's not even fair. How am I supposed to watch him dancing and not get turned on? Tina's one very lucky woman." _Kurt's eyes soon found Artie, _"He may not be the most stereotypically handsome guy, but he's smart and kind—for the most part—and the idea of riding someone who's sitting is very arousing."_ Puck's eyes widened at Kurt's latest thought. He cast his wheelchair bound friend a look, curious as to how Kurt found Artie attractive but hadn't mentioned him.

Apparently he had thought too soon. _"But oh my _God_, Noah Puckerman…the things I would let that man do to me…mmmm."_ Puck smirked. Oh yeah, even guys wanted him. That was the sign of a _true_ badass.

_"And those muscles…he's like the guys in the magazine April gave me, but hotter." _

After a few more thoughts from Kurt's mind, Puck had decided that it really wasn't much of a problem that he could hear these things. And, actually, it was really cool to know that underneath that cool exterior, Kurt was just a bitch in heat.

Then it got graphic.

_"His jeans are so tight in his crotch area only. He must be hung like a fucking horse. If only that dick was fucking me. I bet he's bigger than all my toys put together._

_ "Oh, God, the toys. He could slowly fuck me with each one and tease me until I'm so close only to deny me coming. And then he'd force me down on the dick of his and I'd take it so far back—thank God I don't have a gag reflex, I know that will come in handy for this—and then I'd swallow all of his come. I'd bet it taste better than anything else I've tasted."_

Holy shit. Kurt was _dirty_. Puck smirked and turned to the boy and asked, "You doing good, Hummel?"

Kurt gave him a disdainful look—even though his pupils were dilated in lust—and replied, "You mean _well_, Noah. Honestly, have you ever even gone to an English class?" He rolled his eyes but finally answered, "But yes, I'm "doing" pretty well today." With that he turned his attention back to Finn's attempts at dancing.

"_I'd be 'doing' better if you were 'doing' me, though." _Puck snorted a bit as Kurt continued, _"How about I ride you? Let you lay down as I fuck my tight ass on your big cock. I just _know _you'll make me come and scream your name from your cock alone. And then since you're such a stud you'll make me come again from just your cock _again_ before you even consider coming, just fuck me through all the sensitivity and pain. We'll need a plug, though. I don't want one drop to leave my body for as long as I can help it."_

Holy fucking shit, where did Kurt learn to talk like that? Even Santana would be impressed with that dirty talk.Thankfully Rachel had started lecturing them and singing some stupid song, distracting Kurt, and therefore the thoughts that had been plaguing Puck, for a while.

"_I love that people think _she_ can open her mouth wide," _Kurt thought with a smirk and a raised eyebrow. _"I can open my mouth even wider. I could take all of Noah in without a second thought. And his balls too; I could probably fit both of them in my mouth at the same time."_

Puck nearly whimpered at that idea but managed to cover any noise that might of escaped with a small cough. Thankfully no one seemed to notice and Rachel kept right on singing.

_"Noah must _love_ role playing, too. God, wouldn't that be great? Noah as a rich businessman fucking me as some whore he picked up for a night out of town. Not that he would _need_ to role-play that idea to call me his whore—I mean, I'll be his whore for him without any provocation. Anything to get that dick in me, I don't care if it's my mouth or ass, I just need something that big inside of me at all moments possible._

_ "Maybe I would do something bad in front of him at home, then he could just turn me over and spank me until my naked ass would be too much for him to handle and he'd just have to fuck it until he came all inside me. Let him mark me all over as his and only his. And if someone flirts with me we can go off to the corner, fuck, and he'll make his claim on me."_

Oh my GOD, that was hot. Even though Puck mainly had sex with MILFs and Santana, very sexually aggressive people, the times he had sex with people like Brittany—who let him take the lead—were some of the best times yet. And the idea of someone as uptight, prissy, and controlling as Kurt Hummel letting him dominate and fuck him? That was beyond hot. And his crotch seemed to recognize that as well. That was _totally_ unnecessary.

"Okay everyone, up, time to learn the new dance," Mr. Schue said, clapping his hands together.

Well, this shit blows. What was he going to do now? Sure, he was a badass, but popping wood during the middle of _Glee club_ was definitely not something he could rock; never mind that it was over Kurt—he was _definitely_ badass enough to rock being bisexual or whatever.

Thankfully Mr. Schue bought his excuse that he ate some bad food at lunch so he let him sit out and watch as the rest of the team learned the new dance. Rachel rolled her eyes but all Puck could notice was Kurt's eye roll and then how his hips swaggered as he walked away.

_"Yep, my hips would sway like this for you all day every day, just look at that Noah."_

And look he did. Damn, Kurt had a nice ass. Round, firm, pert, sweet…well, that wasn't helping with his boner at all. Not. At. All.

Neither were Kurt's moves. How did a _guy_ with a _cock_ and everything do _that_? That was…flexible. Hot damn.

_"I bet Noah would willingly bend me over like that and keep me there. He'd fuck me hard and slow, tie me to the bedpost or handcuff my hands behind me so I wouldn't touch myself until he's done with me. Have me beg and plead and moan to feel more and more and more...mmm…"_

How did Kurt come up with this shit? And how was it that Kurt managed to think these naughty thoughts that turned Puck on to the highest notch but still managed to dance with the same superior look and attitude on his face? Puck didn't know, but man were the thoughts just getting steamier and steamier.

_"When I get home tonight and masturbate, I think I'll just fantasize about Puck instead of looking at those magazines. And I'll use the largest vibrator I have and pretend it's him. Oh God that would be _great_. And _so_ hot._

_ "You know, if wanted I would try to take his fingers in me along with his cock. I'd do whatever he wanted, the kinkiest shit he could think of. And any position, I'd make it work._

_ "Oh God, I would reach that high F every time he slammed into me, I just know it._

_ "I wonder if he knows that I can tie a knot in a cherry stem and roll my _r_'s. And I can hold my breath for over a minute."_

"That's it!" Puck shouted, marching over to Kurt and planting a hard kiss on his lips. When he pulled away Kurt looked shocked but also slightly turned on. "Alright then! So, that's how you want it, fine then. Let's do this thing, you little cocktease. Right here, right now. Bend over and I am going to fuck you until you're cumming out of your ears, you little slut."

"Oh my _God_, Puck, what is wrong with you?" Tina shouted. Shit. Puck hadn't thought of everyone else's reactions.

"Jewhawk, step _away_ from my boy," Mercedes said, pushing Puck out of the way.

No, no, this was all wrong, just, they had to know what was going on. "But, guys, I—"

"Puck, what did you just say to my brother?" Finn asked, glowering at him.

"You guys—"

"I know that we both like sex and all, but seriously, that's going way too freaking far, Puck," Santana said, nostrils flared.

"He's been teasing me all day!"

"By what, walking? Talking? Existing?" Quinn yelled, while her and Santana got in Puck's face. Tina, Brittany, and Mercedes stood around Kurt, cooing over him. As if he wasn't a fucking tease.

Puck yelled out a shout in frustration and picked up his stuff. God, and now any sex and relationship with Kurt would probably never happen since all the girls would be protecting widdle baby Kurt from the big bad Puck. God fucking damn it!

Quinn and Santana marched Puck from his stuff. He was cornered at the door when he made eye contact with Kurt. The boy smirked and raised an eyebrow.

_"My house in twenty minutes?"_

Puck's eyes widened but he nodded furiously. Kurt winked and then went back to looking like a kicked puppy for the girls surrounding him. Puck turned and ran from the room in a hurry.

Fuck yeah, he was going to have a good night.

—

**A/N: **Yeah, I don't know what this is…but hopefully you enjoyed it! Here's the prompt it was based off of:

For whatever reason, Puck finds himself suddenly able to read Kurt's mind.

And it is absolutely filthy.

Just a constant stream of fantastic naughty bad fun fantasies starring one Noah Puckerman. Stuff that even makes Puck blush.

At first he's kind of freaked out and then he's really turned on and then just frustrated and pissed off all to hell because how can Hummel sit there so calmly and be such a stuck up ice princess bitch to him while he thinks these things—dude Puck's not even sure some of this stuff is physically possible!

Finally it becomes too much for Puck and he snaps.

"Alright then! So, that's how you want it, fine then. Let's do this thing, you little cocktease. Right here, right now. Bend over and I am going to fuck you until you're cumming out of your ears, you little slut."

Too bad he says this in the middle of Glee.

Cue everyone being just shocked and horrified and trying to protect poor wittle Kurtie as Puck splutters and tries to explain himself.

Reviews please? And you can always read my other stories ;D.

Page 47 Puck/Kurt


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